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Community > Birth Month
July 2024 Babies
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fgalu
Hey, ladies…
I am a little sad because my partner and I have planned this baby shower to be this Saturday over a month ago.. Money is very tight (on my end- not his due to my job not having maternity leave pay) and we still managed to get a venue for the baby shower! We bought all these decorations, extra plates (utensils, etc.), and so much more for this and I’ve gotten so many last minute cancellations on top of people not RSVPing which we said would be considered “not coming” just because we asked them to RSVP over 2 weeks ago. I get that life happens but some people just said they wouldn’t make it.. I have tried so hard to be there for others and their special occasions when I’m invited so when I invited them, I don’t know.. I guess I was just hoping that it would be reciprocated? I’m not expecting gifts or anything.. I always say “Presence matters more than presents” and it does. I’ve grown up that way so when people don’t show up (just because they don’t want too) after all the times my man and I do for them, it hurts. I just wanted to celebrate my daughter coming into this world and hoped people would actually want to come..
I don’t know.. Im crying now finishing typing this. I know all I need are my daughters, my man, and this little girl in my belly but it just hurts when the support you thought you had from other friends and family isn’t there. My parents live in PA and we live in Iowa right now. They can’t come till after the baby is born just because they still work. My man’s mother and I are not close for various reasons (we are a blended family and she’s made it clear she favors her blood over my blood- even tho blood doesn’t matter. It’s love) So… I just really wish this was different.. I’m kind of dreading the baby shower now. I wish I wasn’t but now I just want it to be over..
Sorry for the long post, ladies. I try not to vent like this but I just don’t have anyone else to vent to about this. My man sees how sad I am about this- I just don’t want to flood him with more upset energy.
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expectingmomma96
Aw I’m sorry, you deserve all the love and support! I found myself pretty disappointed after my son was born, people that said they would come visit or drop off meals didn’t make any effort to even talk to me. I had a few close family members that offered great support even while they were working full time. But it’s not always what you expect unfortunately ��
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verdana
I'm so sorry. I definitely felt like my circle of friends became 10% of what it was after I had kids. I think now you know who really shows up for you. In a way it's a blessing, gives you an opportunity to focus on connections that reciprocate your efforts, and that care about you, and no longer waste time on the superficial ones. At least that's how I try to see the bright side of it.
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justtryingtosurvive
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m a fellow Iowan. Is this a pattern for your friends/family backing out? I know with the 4th next week so many people have family plans the weekend before or after so they honestly could just have had other things planned. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this :/
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bbanker22
I was right there with you mama! My first baby shower last year was great, most everyone showed up and celebrated my little guy. It was the best time but this time around with having a girl, my mom planned another shower but we expressed to people that we had most everything for baby girl so gifts weren’t necessary, we just wanted to celebrate her coming into the world. However we got maybe 15 people to come to the shower which is about 1/4 of the people who came to my son’s. We got some responses about how they couldn’t get out of work, we sent invites over 2 months in advance to make sure people could, how they didn’t want to travel, it was held anywhere from a 20-75 minute drive from people, but a lot we got no response from, they didn’t even tell us they couldn’t make it until after the shower. We ran into a couple of people afterwards and were met with “sorry we couldn’t make it” or “I would have loved to have come” from people. I cried for days both before and after the shower because I felt like the people not showing up was a reflection on people caring less about baby girl because she’s our second child. My husband comforted me the best he could and honestly I still get a little sad about it but I have to remind myself that as long as me, my husband and our son are excited and celebrating our daughter’s impending arrival then we’ll be okay. I know it’s a sad feeling but have and try to enjoy that shower mama, you and your little girl deserve to be celebrated even if it is small!
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McIntyreFamilyof5
Girl I feel you. My first baby shower was pretty small. I was disappointed. My second, I did a “sprinkle.” Essentially no one outside of immediate family showed up. I didn’t even bother with a “sprinkle” this time around. I’ve learned to not expect support or help outside of my husband and sister, some financial assistance from my dad (not that we need it, but he is always offering to pay for things), and my in laws will occasionally babysit for us. My “friends” have seen my kids a handful of times throughout their lives and my oldest is almost 5 1/2. I’d say it gets better but I’m still looking for the mythical village.
Sorry you’re dealing with this too. ☹️
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bingbingbing
It’s really around this stage in life when you find out who the real ones are. This is my second pregnancy and my circle has gone smaller. I’ve learned after my first pregnancy to not get affected and expect much from others. Those who want to show up will step up and those people will be your small circle. You will have more meaningful memories with them and one day you’ll be content and happy with your quality relationships.
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mumof2blessings
I’m sorry this is happening to you! I totally get it and it sucks. I’ve completely left friendships in my past this pregnancy due to people just not reciprocating my efforts and it’s unfortunate. As life progresses, you see who is truly there for you and who isn’t. Your beautiful family is all that matters!
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babyksmommy724
my baby shower felt this way to me as well. My mom threw it for me and it was very expensive and we have a big family, but we all always show up for everyone else, and do the right thing financially. I was very surprised by having only 50 people come out of the 90 that were invited, when we sent invitations 2 months in advance, some of them being my immediate family and also if I RSVP no I still send a gift, many did not, and it left us feeling upset with certain people (like his own sisters, and step mom & dad) and I felt bad for my mom! For all she spent and did. It was a beautiful shower despite that, but now I have stricter boundaries with family who hurt me that day
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Mybb1121
I feel this! I've made it pretty clear I'm hurt that no one wants to celebrate my little one, they seem to be in mindset of 'this is ypur second... you don't have 2 baby showers.' I cried to my mom and my sister we were having struggles paying for everything ( I got rid of all my 1st babies stuff, no room) I was making a lot more money when I got pregnant and did t see the layoff coming. they said to me "give it to the Lord". don't get me wrong I did give it to God. however so irritated no one cares about my little one. even just celebrating her coming into the world, even without gifts!
whatever. I have my husband amd my girls, and God. all I need.
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MRSHUD24
You know what honey this happened to me, I needed up having a small intimate shower HOWEVER … I had people who couldn’t make it still but us gifts and we ended up with so much more than expected. Stay positive it’s going work out ��
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