noooo
By Danielle Cohen, a writer for the Cut who covers pop-culture news and entertainment. Previously, she wrote about wellness, fitness, and their intersection with culture at GQ.
Photo: Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for ELLE
J.Lo and Ben Affleck have a habit of setting off breakup rumors, but a recent confluence of events suggests the early aughts’ most over-the-top couple is in trouble for real. Though Ben tends to walk around with a severe case of resting divorce face, both of them have been looking kind of miserable lately, and tabloid reports indicating they are hurtling toward divorce are getting harder and harder to ignore. I am upset, sad, and stressed about the logistics of their Dunkin’ endorsem*nt deal. Here’s the evidence that has been offered up.
Anonymous tabloid sources say they’ve called it quits.
In mid-May, In Touch claimed to have heard from an “insider” that “the writing is on the wall” for Bennifer — “it’s over.” The tabloid’s source claimed that “they waited almost two decades to get back together, but in the end, they just couldn’t make it work.” Per the chatty insider, Affleck has already moved out of their house, abandoning their 24 bathrooms to “focus on his work and his kids.” The bottom line? “They’ll never stop loving each other, but she can’t control him, and he can’t change her. There’s no way it could have lasted.” A few days later, the tabloid claimed J.Lo had hired a crisis PR firm and divorce lawyer extraordinaire Laura Wasser (who happens to have handled the dissolution of both J.Lo and Affleck’s last marriages).
Speaking with a similarly confident source, “Page Six” reported that Affleck had “come to his senses” re: J.Lo and “understands there is just no way this is going to work.” Referring to their relationship as “a fever dream,” the source added, “If there was a way to divorce on grounds of temporary insanity, he would.” Another drastic statement made its way to Us Weekly, where a source claimed Affleck felt “worn down” by their marriage and “doesn’t agree with Jennifer’s lifestyle.” Yikes?
Someone else purportedly close with Lopez told Us the couple is having “significant arguments” about things like finances and parenting and also have “fundamentally different approaches to conflict.” According to Us, the couple is “on two completely different pages most of the time” and have been “having issues” for a few months since J.Lo “started ramping up work commitments and prepping for her tour.”
The couple seemed to have some tension in The Greatest Love Story Never Told.
A handful of tabloids analyzing In Touch’s “insider” info have cited J.Lo’s February documentary as an example of the couple’s tension. In the movie, Affleck talked about not wanting to have such a publicized relationship and admitted he and his wife were “trying to learn to compromise” when it came to social media. The documentary also saw J.Lo showing a whole bunch of people private love letters that he wrote to her, a choice he didn’t seem too pleased with. Also potentially at play here: Right before the documentary came out, J.Lo famously poured $20 million of her own hard-earned cash into a movie-musical about her love life, which may or may not be a topic of discussion in their fights about money.
They weren’t seen together for 47 days straight.
In mid-May, the Daily Mail pointed out that the couple hadn’t been seen in public side by side in some time — seven weeks, to be exact. They were previously spotted in Dumbo toward the end of March, when Affleck thoughtfully stroked his wife’s butt in front of a horde of cameras. During that trip, they toured a smattering of Upper East Side townhouses, hinting they might want to add several thousand more square feet to their luxury-real-estate portfolio. But after that, they only popped up separately —Affleck participated in Netflix’s live Tom Brady roast in L.A., and J.Lo co-hosted the Met Gala the following night without him (though to be fair, a whole bunch of Met Gala boyfriends were MIA). According to People, they spent Mother’s Day apart. Both have been seen wandering around L.A. solo (though with their wedding rings), including yet another house-hunting mission in Beverly Hills that J.Lo appeared to handle alone. The Daily Mail was quick to connect the dots and assume J.Lo was shopping for herself, but given the size of these places, who’s to say.
Speaking of the Tom Brady roast, Affleck’s most recent appearance raised some questions. He delivered a deeply weird six-minute monologue during the show, which involved calling anyone who criticizes Brady on social media “a bitch” before concluding, “I’m probably never going to work again, actually, after tonight.” The appearance prompted speculation that something was going on in his personal life. Which, again, is hard to determine, since all recent sightings indicate he is at his normal, everyday level of being fed up.
Meanwhile, J.Lo appears to be engaging with some suspect relationship content on Instagram (which, for the record, isn’t the first time she’s been caught making shady likes). A relationship coach shared on her Stories that Lopez had liked a months-old post about how “you cannot build a healthy relationship with someone who … lacks integrity & emotional safety,” “doesn’t respect your time,” and “lacks effective communication skills.”
Affleck seems to have moved out, and they’re reportedly selling their house.
At this point, it seems pretty clear that Ben and Jen aren’t living together at the moment. Multiple outlets claim Affleck has been staying at a $100,000-a-month mansion in Brentwood, two blocks from his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, who has paid him a few visits. Confirmation of his new residence came via TMZ, which published a blurry photo of him zooming away from said residence, signature cig dangling from his wedding-ringed hand.
In June, TMZ claimed the couple had quietly put their dream home back on the market just over a year after buying it for $60 million and that divorce was “imminent.” A few days later, People floated the narrative that, actually, everything is fine and the couple just doesn’t want to live in that particular mansion anymore — “Ben never liked the house” because his kids live far away, their source claimed, and it was “way too big” for J.Lo.
Two joint outings only made things weirder.
Amid intensifying divorce rumors, J.Lo and Affleck appeared to break their stretch of time apart in mid-May. They were seen arriving separately — and with their respective bouquets of flowers — at Affleck’s child’s school play. The Daily Mail claims there was minimal physical affection between them. (I am pining for the days when they spent an entire family dinner making out.) According to TMZ, Affleck drove J.Lo and one of her kids home before retreating back to his lair in Brentwood, where he has apparently been hanging out with his mom and ordering McDonald’s.
Less than 48 hours later, Affleck had been seen twice without his wedding ring, including during an outing to watch his son’s basketball game with his ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, and their daughter Violet. Hours after the game, Garner was seen paying a visit to Affleck’s Brentwood house, seemingly without either of their shared children. Whether this was a co-parenting check-in or a mid-divorce heart-to-heart depends on how much you want Bennifer to be getting divorced.
And then, in an apparent course correction, J.Lo and Ben brought their kids to an event at the Aero Theater and then drove to Soho House for what “Page Six” describes as “a jaunt.” The couple, who were in characteristically mismatched fits (J.Lo in a beige power trench and Ben finding strength in a Beantown graphic tee), were both wearing their wedding rings. At some point in their commute, photographers honed in on Affleck’s visible phone screen, which appeared to be flashing an incoming call from “Jennifer Affleck” along with a heavily airbrushed photo of his wife — who was in fact sitting next to him in the car. Not even a second Bennifer breakup can explain this.
The following week, they were back to solo activities — J.Lo posed on the red carpet alone at the L.A. premiere of her new AI movie, Atlas. According to Us Weekly, she was far from her “usual bubbly self” and “just going through the motions.” She linked back up with Ben twice for his daughter Violet’s graduation festivities, during which they actually managed to hold hands. According to the Daily Mail, they then hung out at Violet’s party for all of an hour before heading to Affleck’s rental home together — only for J.Lo to duck into her own car and head out. They were seen again the following week giving each other air kisses before Affleck flashed a thoroughly unconvincing thumbs-up to the cameras. The pomp and circ*mstance continued into mid-June, when the couple reunited at yet another graduation party, this one for Affleck’s 12-year-old son Samuel, where TMZ says they “kept their distance and separated their families.”
J.Lo has pressed on with her movie’s rollout without addressing questions about her marriage.
The Atlas press tour was bound to be plagued by these rumors — at least until a reporter in Mexico City asked J.Lo in Spanish, “Is your divorce with Ben Affleck real?” Her co-star Simu Liu indignantly jumped in with an “Okay, we’re not doing that,” but before they moved on, J.Lo leaned forward and told the asker, “You know better than that.” According to TMZ, Netflix had explicitly told press not to ask J.Lo questions about Affleck or her personal life.
Another Atlas promo has been picked apart for the slightest reference to the state of Bennifer’s relationship. In an On the JLo newsletter update sent out Wednesday, J.Lo announced that Atlas was still at the top of the Netflix charts: “It may seem like there’s a lot of negativity out in the world right now … but don’t let the voices of a few drown out that there is soooo much love out there.” Hmmmmm …
J.Lo canceled her This Is Me … Live tour.
At the end of May, things took a drastic turn when J.Lo suddenly called off her splashy summer tour, which was supposed open at the end of June and run through August. In a statement included on her website, J.Lo shared that she’s “taking time off to be with her children, family, and close friends.” She added, “I am completely heartsick and devastated about letting you down. Please know that I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t feel that it was absolutely necessary.” Later on Friday, she was seen leaving a dance studio in Burbank looking glum.
The couple is rumored to be reconnecting with their respective friends.
According to “Page Six,” J.Lo has suddenly reconnected with her good friend Leah Remini, whom she had a falling-out with when she and Affleck reunited in 2022. According to their source, Remini reminded J.Lo that Affleck was “selfish” and “not fully committed as a partner,” causing the singer to “cut off all ties” and not invite her friend to their wedding. I guess Remini has been reading the news, because per “Page Six,” she reached out to J.Lo amid all these reports of marriage trouble, and now they’re speaking again.
She’s not the only one reconnecting with her support network. A source for Entertainment Tonight who claims the couple is living “separate lives” said that Affleck is “sad about it all” but “leaning on Matt Damon and his close circle of guy friends,” adding, “Matt is always in Ben’s corner and is supportive of him.”
On the other hand, maybe they’ll be okay?
A few sources seem to be holding out hope that these two can patch things up. ET claims they’re “not over yet,” but the “tension has been high” and they’re taking some time to “figure out what each of them is going through and wants.” Another source told People the couple’s different approaches to publicity were causing “tension in the relationship,” but “nothing has stopped their love over the years.” One person weighing in for Us Weekly claimed an initially reluctant Affleck is starting to “invest more” in J.Lo’s efforts to rebuild, considering he’s “struggled with loneliness” in Brentwood and has come to realize “how much he misses Jen.” Still, at the moment, they apparently only communicate about logistics.
I don’t know about you, but when I look at these two, I still see a couple of yacht-loving, overcaffeinated hopeless romantics. Perhaps J.Lo called off her tour to check herself and Ben into a marriage-repair boot camp inside the heart factory? I’ll believe a divorce when I see it —but maybe I should cover my eyes for now.
This post has been updated.
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