FIL wants to sleep in Toddler's bed and other things - April 2021 Babies | Forums | What to Expect (2024)

Simone7891

Last time FIL stayed at our house overnight, our 3 year old son was being a bit rebellious at bedtime and getting out of bed. He had a late night and it was probably 10pm at this time. We had been putting him back in his bed for a couple hours. He had been fine for about 20 minutes, then he started calling out, "Graaaandad graaandad" in a whiny voice. We were just going to ignore him but FIL said, "I'll go put my pjs on and then lay with him." Me and husband didn't stop him though I wanted to but I didn't verbalise it.
He got in bed with toddler. They were snuggling and giving "eskimo" kisses. There is a baby monitor so I could see.
He fell asleep eventually but FIL stayed in there and slept too until I told hubby to go wake him up.
But in the morning he was back in there he said toddler had woke up after we went to sleep and was calling for him.

The next day, FIL was going to get dressed in the washroom and toddler followed. He got distracted on the way and FIL said, "Are you coming?" He followed again. He stood in the doorway. FIL said, "I'm closing the door - are you in or out?" Toddler was kind of getting in the way of FIL closing the door. I didn't want him to be in there so I came from the other room and said, "Come on, let's go out." FIL said, "No he's ok he's ok he's ok he's ok." And I didn't want to leave him but I felt pressured and I let him stay in there while he got dressed. Toddler sprayed FIL's cologne in his eye (FIL is always bragging that 3 yr old wants to be just like him and wear his cologne).

Later, FIL was going to pee. He asked if toddler was coming. Toddler followed and again was being slow in the door. Hubby said, "Toddler, let's give Grandad some privacy." FIL says, "It's ok, he just sits on the stool and watches me." I said, "Err no we need to teach him boundaries."
FIL said, "It's fine. I'm his Grandad. These guys (hubby and siblings) followed me everywhere." I said, "It's other people. He's going to think this is okay with other adults," FIL said, "Oh he knows he can't do this with other people." Then turned to toddler and said, "You know you can't go to the bathroom with other people, right?" I interrupted and said, "No, he's a child, he can't make that distinction," and I picked him up and took him out of the bathroom. Hubby said, "Yeah, that's true." Toddler sat on the floor and looked a bit sad and hubby said, "We need to give people privacy in the bathroom but you can give Grandad a big hug when he comes out"
FIL no longer allows toddler to come to bathroom with him.

FIL tells toddler he loves him every few minutes all day long. Usually repeatedly again and again. "I love you, I love you, you know. I love you." FIL also asks if toddler loves him several times a day
FIL gives money and toys in excess. He once gave $80 in coins for toddler's piggy bank. Regularly spends hundreds on toys.
When we're at FIL'S house, FIL constantly asks toddler if he's having so much fun, if he wishes he could stay forever, and if he wants to live at FIL's house.
FIL always wants to take Toddler to the bathroom when he needs to go, and always wants to wipe his bum when he poos.
FIL always rushes to be the one to comfort Toddler when he's hurt, even if I'm closer and on my way.
FIL has designated his spare bedrooms as "Toddler's room." But he sleeps in there when toddler is there so that me and hubby can have FIL'S bed.

What are your thoughts?
Would you feel different if I replaced FIL with MIL?

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