Some background- I(32M) and my wife(25f) have been together for 5 years and married for 3 and are expecting our son rn. We have our ups and downs when we first got together because I was fresh out of an abusive relationship and I was her first boyfriend but I had always noticed that she was really demeaning about herself. She was always really disappointed in herself and this was just 6 months into our relationship and it hurt to see her like that since she is an amazing woman. I convinced her to go to therapy and to her, we would do couple therapy because I did really love her in the short amount of time, and during therapy, I learned that her parents were narcissists who only loved her brother their golden child and when she relayed the abuse she faced I honestly cried and that whole experience made us the strong couple we are today and the strong woman she is today. Back to present- My MIL and FIL have gotten a little better over the years which is why we are at LC from our NC position. My MIL came to visit us(they live overseas) since my wife is pregnant and it has been only a week and my wife's mood is completely dimmed. This happened at night when we were sleeping my wife went to get some juice since she was craving it while I went to the washroom and came back to see a glass on the floor and my MIL shouting at my wife. I couldn't handle my anger and shouted at her to get out and told her if she didn't I was gonna call the police so she begrudgingly got out of the house. I calmed my wife down and she told me MIL had gotten mad at her cause she wanted to drink apple juice because it's bad for the baby and how she doesn't deserve to have a baby if she wanted to kill it. I am now getting calls from her family saying I am an a$$hole because I kicked her out and I even got a call from my parent saying it was an a$$hole move and I could've let her stay the night and I understand I might be the a$$hole cause I kicked her out in the middle of the night but at that moment looking at my wife shaking it was the best option. AITA?"AITA for kicking out my MIL in the middle of the night?"
What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:
MisfitIncarnate said:
So much NTA. Go back to NC unless you want this kind of behavior around your baby
mountaingoat05 said:
NTA. Your inlaws are toxic people. I'm proud of you for protecting your wife from their garbage. They don't deserve a place in your family's life.
skelieghosti said:
NTA. It sounds like your MIL really only came over to control your wife and what she does during her pregnancy. If she didn't want to get kicked out, she should have acted like, oh I don't know, a respectable human being. OP you and your wife get 0/5 buttholes and your MIL gets 4/5 buttholes.
Individual_Ad_9213 said:
NTA. You were protecting your wife. That's why the have hotels -- for family who should be taken in teeny tiny bits of time.
Weskit said:
Even if apple juice was bad for the baby (and pasteurized apple juice should be fine), your MIL's reaction was abusive and disgusting. NTA. Your wife doesn't need her in her life. Anybody that calls you out for standing up for your wife is enabling abuse.
Commenters agreed, NTA, and MIL's behavior was abusive, and completely out-of-line.
About a month later, OP shared this major update:
Thank you To everyone who responded to my post. Thank you to everyone who voted NTA because I was really conflicted or a few days after the incident and I also agree that I could've controlled my anger better.
A lot has happened since I posted, me and my wife went to therapy where she told me the reason she accepted her mother's request to come because she saw how her mom treated her brother's kids so she wanted that for our son too and she really did believe that her mother had changed for the better but as explained by our Therapist that some narcissists REFUSE to change.
My wife and I have written one letter and sent it to every one of her family member who had told us we were in the wrong which basically said that her mother never cared for her and never would and we didn't want that around our children. My wife wrote about several instances where she was subjected to emotional abuse and even though everyone knew no one did anything except for her grandma
(her father's mother). She said she is tired of always being the bigger one but now she would be selfish for herself and our child and if anyone disagrees they are welcome to cut contact as she wouldn't miss people like that in her life.
Something which shocked both of us was when her father called and asked what happened and she narrated everything her father being the typical narcissist tried to gaslight but with my support and her therapy she put her foot down and asked her father if he had ever cared about her because it never felt like they did,
she narrated every instance from her childhood to her adulthood where she was subjected to emotional abuse and how her brother always came before her. Her dad was silent throughout the call and in the end, all my wife said that for her currently, she doesn't have parents and hung up. By the end all m wife did was cry and I cried with her.
I also called my parents asking how could they not take my side knowing the history because they really love my wife which is why it was hard listening I'm in the wrong and they told me that it was because her mother had called them in hysterics and told I was physical with her (I was not)
after learning the truth from me they came over to apologize & my mother held my wife (I am a single child so I and my wife are everything to them) I would like to point out in the metropolitan area & there are plenty of hotels so I wasn't worried about my MIL finding a hotel (money isn't an issue) For now, we are just waiting for the little one to be born and my wife is much happier and free from her toxic family.
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